Zombie movies are all the rage right now and seem on a path to knock vampires off the top of the preferred mystical creature to use in a film ranks, but there is a huge divide between good Zombie movies and bad Zombie movies. Some prefer the high end route, using believable-ish science to create a scenario that is scary to us non-infected humans, and make a thrilling, gory horror flick such as television series The Walking Dead or the Night of the Living Dead movie franchise. Others go the classic B-grade root and make a film with as much gore as possible, and a lot of laughs, such as Planet Terror and Zombieland. Then there are those that use the whole zombie idea and add another element to make something ridiculous that is designed not to be taken seriously, such as Zombie Strippers and now Matthias Hoene’s Cockneys vs Zombies.
Basically what we have here is a zombie movie where the only people to survive the apocalypse that has occurred in the East End (which originates not from a failed science experiment but from the unearthing of an ancient tomb on a building site) are a gang of bumbling bank robbers who have taken two people hostage, and a group of old folks who’s home has been inundated with zombies. A lot of the humour is derived from these old folks kicking ass, especially Ray (Allen Ford, our intrepid narrator from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) who, in his early life, single handedly wiped out bunkers full of Nazi’s. The Zombies in this film are your classic waddling, bumbling zombies, the kind that are just slow enough for old men with walking frames to stumble away from.
The bank robbing cockneys were robbing the bank to save grandpa Ray’s old folks home, and the real carnage begins when the troupe head to the home to join forces with their Grandpa and his friends, with a whole cache of guns taken from their buddy Mental Micky when he is bitten.
At times the film is so ridiculous that you have to laugh however, given the stupidity of the idea of this film, it really could have gone a whole lot further. The action is predictable and there aren’t quite enough inventive zombie killings to make this film anything new, it is what it is; a zombie film with the twist of cockneys. At times it feels a little preachy on the part of the east enders, it seems likely there may be some development issues occurring in that part of London right now and this film is perhaps a beacon to say “leave us alone”. You will get a laugh but this is by no means a great-bad-zombie movie.
Cockneys vs Zombies is available to own on DVD and BluRay through Transmission Films.