For a post office branch that presumably only employs one roving postman, the vast warehouse that is Greendale Post Office does seem a little extreme, particularly given the town population can’t be more than a few hundred. Being the size of Buckingham Palace, it even has the services of a helicopter.
And yet, despite this boom in productivity, their star performer, the eponymous Postman Pat (Stephen Mangan), somehow can’t afford a honeymoon trip to Italy for him and his wife (not even with Ryanair). Something fishy going on there. Pat isn’t one to complain though. He does the only thing any reasonable person would do: he auditions for the talent show You’re the One, where the prize is conveniently a trip to Italy and a recording contract. But fame is a fickle thing, and Pat s treading uncharted territory.
This is isn’t the half of it though. While Pat is out of the way showing off the singing skills of Ronan Keating (who knew?), Pat’s new boss at the Special Delivery Service is planning on taking over the world. He plans to start by replacing the post office’s friendly façade with robotic versions of Postman Pat, or Patbots. As you would. These, of course, are to be accompanied by robot versions of Pat’s black and white cat, Jess, which I presume are catbots, although surprisingly writers Nicole Dubuc, Annika Bluhm and Kim Fuller didn’t think of that.
With a voice cast that reflects the beloved status of Pat in his home country – Jim Broadbent, Parminder Nagra, David Tennant, Rupert Grint – this humble postman’s fan-base is certainly impressive. However, it was always going to be a stretch extending a show accustomed to 15-minute episodes (usually centred on minor emergencies like runaway sheep or a broken down tractor) into a feature-length film. While there are snippets of droll British humour that are in keeping with the quaint village atmosphere, the temptation to over-modernise has ensured that the bumbling Postman Pat of old is no more. A substantial loss of charm can be mostly chalked down to the switch from stop motion to digital animation, but bigger problems stem from the script.
Under the direction of Mike Disa, it’s hard to know who this is aimed at. I can’t think of a time when Ronan Keating was ever popular with the under-fives, and I can’t imagine much has changed. Then you throw in the robots, and perhaps this is some kind of kid-friendly prequel to Edgar Wright’s The World’s End.
When Postman Pat was in his infancy – the show, not the man – there was a lasting appeal in the pedestrian pace and the handmade sets. Robots and fame weren’t even part of Greendale’s vocabulary. Looking at this, it all seems a bit desperate. It might be time for Pat to recognise that he, like the real Post Office, is not as relevant as he once was.
Postman Pat is in Australian cinemas from August 16 through Pinnacle Films.
